My Husband is Dating Someone Else…

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He just left with her.

It’s not the first time. This is actually the third time he’s done it, and it was such an amazing experience for us both that I was the one who coordinated it this time!

At first the kids thought it was a little strange.  I admit I struggled to explain the situation properly, but eventually they came around to the idea.  Now, it’s as normal as can be.

Of course, I wouldn’t send him off with just anyone!  She’s amazing.  Much younger than me, but sweet, and with different tastes and interests.  And she sure thinks the world of him!  I wish you could see the way she looks at him.  My husband deserves to be looked at that way.

In case you hadn’t guessed it yet, the younger girl my husband is dating is…my five year old daughter.

Years ago, when we chose to homeschool our kids, the only “Sweetheart Ball” in town was put on by the local public kindergarten.  Every child in kindergarten invited his or her special grown up to be their date for the evening, got all dressed up, and spent some quality time together.  I thought it was a totally adorable and wonderful idea that I hated for my daughter to miss out on just because she was homeschooled.

So I came up with a plan for their own Sweetheart Date.  My little girl got dressed in a very special dress.  We fixed her hair up fancy! Daddy dressed nice and greeted her with a long-stemmed rose.  She got to choose the restaurant and activity for the evening.  They had a blast, and I stayed home with the little sister.

Three years ago, when my middle daughter was 5, it was her turn to repeat the special tradition, and now, Baby Girl is kindergarten age and totally excited about her Daddy-Daughter Date!

We have a dress picked out, I’ve been searching Pinterest for hair styles, and they have big plans for breaking the 100 Days of No Eating Out challenge tonight.  (Side bar, I will be enjoying)

We’ve always made this a once-in-a-lifetime special occasion, but I think I am going to start sending my husband out with other girls more regularly.

Why do I want my husband to date my daughters?

I want them to feel special, like a Princess even.

I believe that Satan’s biggest lie to women is “you are not ______ enough.”  You’re not pretty enough. You’re not thin enough. You’re not smart enough.  You’re not fabulous enough.  You just don’t have what it takes to be somebody in this world.

It’s an insidious lie that denies the very essence of who we were created to be.  You ARE a princess.  Not in the fairy-tale make-believe kind of way, but in the Daughter of the King, rights and responsibilities of royalty kind of way.

If dressing up like a fairytale princess helps my daughter to feel special, valuable, and capable of fulfilling her role in God’s kingdom, well by golly, get her a tiara too!  Seriously, it may seem a stretch, and it is, but this is one of the seeds I plant in a tiny little girl’s heart to grow into a harvest of a fully developed, confident woman.

I want to cultivate a relationship between Father and Daughter.

Statistics show that a father’s influence in a girls’ (and boys’) life is one of the most determining factors of their success later in life.  Beyond that, I LOVE my husband, and I LOVE my daughter and I want them to have a relationship that is deeper than “Go ask your mom.”  I want her to be able to call Dad when she needs more understanding about “manly” issues like how to choose a mechanic or what the new guy she’s dating is really thinking.

We value the opinions of people we know, like, and trust.  I want her to value his opinion, therefore, she needs to know, like, and trust him!  He’s a pretty likable, trustworthy guy, so it shouldn’t be hard.

I want them to know how a good man acts on a date.

Someday, eventually, wayyyy in the future, she will go on a real date, with a real live grown-up boy.  She’s going to know how to act, and more importantly, she is going to know how he should act! We’re guaranteeing that her very first date experience is with a man who would do anything for her.  He will open her door, help her with her chair, make sure she is having a good time, and treat her with the utmost love and respect.

I don’t expect her first real date to go quite as well.  We live by the rule of “High Goals, Low Expectations” so even though I don’t expect a young man to treat her as well as Daddy did, I do have the goal that he will one day.

Dating Daddy helps her define that goal too!

It’s just plain fun!

I can’t tell you how much fun I have helping her pick out her dress and fixing her hair and all the little wonderful details of dressing up my little doll.  I pretty much only know one hairstyle, so they look a lot like my bridal photos which is a little weird and wonderful.

Seeing her all dressed up and looking like a bride, I start to think about how these years are not really about me surviving motherhood, or even about savoring the moments with children in the home.  These years are her beginning.  A real, whole grown-up woman is starting her life right here in my home, under my supervision.  

It’s her story.   Oh, I hope I help her start a good story!

Sweetheart-2380

“May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.”

-Psalm 144:12

Hairbows and big grins,
Christina

Why would I send my husband out with someone else? And why would I tell you to do the same? Turns out, it's a pretty great tradition to start. Read on...

7 comments
  1. I’ll be honest when I first read the title on Pinterest, I was like, “what….she is crazy, never.” As I read the article through. I was like, “Yes.” I turned to my husband and said: “You need date nights with Ari.” Thanks for sharing and helping my family start a new tradition in my home. God bless.

  2. This is very beautiful and such a great idea! At first, I thought the same as Rebecca when I read the title but my oldest is a girl and she’s only 2 and a half so it’s a little early but I would also like to home-school my children so I’m learning tips from others that are doing the same, like yourself. I do believe that fathers have such a strong influence on their daughters that it’s important for them to have such a connection. Thanks for sharing!

    1. We love homeschooling and how it lets us be present in our kids’ daily lives more. We do have to be intentional about finding one-on-one time with each kid to deepen those connections, though!

  3. That is so sweet. Your daughter looks amazing. She is gorgeous. I bet Daddy was so proud to be out with her. I used to go out with my son’s. I let them “pay” at the end of the evening. As they got older, they used to take me out if their Dad was working away. We had a blast.

    1. Oh, I love that. I can’t wait to go out with my son. He is only one, but I am really looking forward to those days.

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